Lettre correspondant

[jeanne_rchdd]

AIDEZ MOI A CORRIGER SVP Aidez-moi à corriger S.V.P.

 

 Hey !

I’m Jeanne, i’m a girl and i’m 15 years old. I was born the of 15 july 2004. I leave in Charnay-lès-mâcon, a small town near Mâcon . I’m leaving in a tall house with a swimming pool ( you can use it when you come at home ! ). I have a brother and a sister who don’t leave at my home cause they are studying in an other city. So i leave with my parents ( my mom is Sandrine and my dad is Laurent ), my dog and my 2 cats ! I have a horse to so i go to the riding center everyday to ride and take care of it. Hope you like animals ! I ride horse for 12 years and i practice jumping competition on Sunday but i like be with my friends to, i like do shopping, watching netflix, listen music ( rap, pop and french’s musics ). I like sport to ! My school is the Lamartine high school in Mâcon. I’m in 2nd6 grade and my class is so cool and fun ! My favorite subjects at school is Economics and English.

In the future i’ll like to be a wedding planer, a journalist or be a rider pro. Mâcon is my city, there is a lot of things to do ! There is 40 000 people who are living on. I like to leave in this city cause it’s calm but not to far of the shops and the others activities … At this period of the year, we are preparing Christmas ( « Noël » in french), it’s an important period for french peoples. We will celebrate the new year to in a few month, i will do a tall party with my friends ! What do you do for the next year in your county ? And for Christmas ? Do you ask for some presents ? I’m impatient to have an other letter of you cause i enjoy the first one. I let you with some pictures of me, my friends and my family !

 

Have a nice day !

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

Tu commences bien mal ton arrivée sur le forum.

D'abord, ouvre le dialogue au minimum  avec un "Bonjour", c'est la moindre des politesses.

Ensuite, évite de mentionner "urgent" (je l'ai supprimé) et autant que possible le mode impératif même suivi de S.V.P.

Enfin, évite l'écriture en majuscules, tu ne t'adresses pas forcément à des handicapés visuels.

Le 23/11/2019 à 20:44, jeanne_rchdd a dit :

AIDEZ MOI A CORRIGER SVP Aidez-moi à corriger S.V.P.

 

 Hey !

I’m Jeanne, i’m a girl and i’m 15 years old. <S'écrit toujours et seulement avec la majuscule, pas seulement 1 fois  sur 3 I was born the of on 15 july 2004.<Tous les noms des mois prennent aussi une majuscule I leave<Tu as un souci de vocabulaire !> live in Charnay-lès-mâcon, a small town near Mâcon . I’m leaving <Désormais je ne corrige plus cette même faute> living in a tall big house with a swimming pool ( you can use it when you come at home! ) I have a brother and a sister who don’t leave  at my home cause they are studying in another <En 1 seul mot city. So i leave with my parents ( my mom is Sandrine and my dad is Laurent ), my dog and my 2 cats! I have a horse to so i go to the riding center everyday to ride and take care of it. Hope you like animals! I ride horse 've been going horse-riding for 12 years and i practice do jumping competition on Sundays but i enjoy/like being with my friends too. Nouvelle phrase> i like do going shopping, watching Netflix, listening to music ( rap, pop and French’s musics ). I like sport too! My school is the Lamartine high school in Mâcon. I’m in 2nd6 grade attending year 11 course and my class classmates are so very cool and fun! My favorite subjects at school is <Celle-là, il fallait la faire ! >are economics and English. <Là, j'ai du mal à te croire !

In the future i’ll I'd <contraction de "I would", conditionnel like to be a wedding planer organizer, a journalist or be a rider professional rider. <L'adjectif épithète toujours avant le nom Mâcon is my city, there is are <"a lot of" implique un pluriel a lot of things to do! There is <Tu le fais exprès ?> 40 000 people who are living on live there. I like to leave <!!! in this city cause it’s calm but not too far of from the shops and the others <other adjectif est invariable. Ne prend la marque du pluriel que lorsqu'il a la fonction pronom activities … At this period of the year, we are preparing Christmas ( « Noël » in French), it’s an important period for french peoples. <Ne prend la marque du pluriel qu'au sens de peuples/nations We will also celebrate the New Year to in a few month weeks, i will do give a tall big party with my friends! What do you do for the next New Year in your country? And for Christmas? Do you ask for some presents? I’m impatient look forward to have getting another letter of from you cause i enjoyed the first one. I let leave you with some pictures of me, my friends and my family!

Have a nice day!

Note qu'en anglais les points d'exclamation et d'interrogation se collent sans espace derrière le dernier mot de la phrase. J'ai rectifié partout.

Tu as intérêt à combler tes lacunes tant en grammaire qu'en vocabulaire car tu commets des fautes dont certaines sont carrément monstrueuses.

Sans vouloir te décourager d'en tenir une, ce n'est pas la correspondance qui t'y aidera.

Sans plus tarder, inscris-toi sur https://www.anglaisfacile.com/ et travailles-y assidûment tout au long de l'année en exploitant les multiples ressources du site jusqu'en Terminale y compris. Ce site est une véritable mine qui ne demande qu'à être exploitée, profites-en car tout y est entièrement gratuit.

Bon courage et bons progrès.