Description d'une image

[Lyysa]

Bonjour, je dois décrire une image en anglais pour lundi, est-ce que vous pouvez m'aider en me corrigeant s'il vous plaît parce que je ne sais si j'ai des erreurs. Merci

 

1) This document is a cartoon drawn by a person who can be believed to be anonymous because there is no registered name. It is also not officially titled but we can give it the name that there is written on it "Clones r us" which is the name of the factory. We can thus deduce that this drawing represents a factory of clones and its dysfunctions.
How does society want us to be in order not to be rejected?

2) We can see on this drawing a small white man, blond, very skinny wearing pink briefs which is placed in the middle of the image, between four muscular clone on a conveyor belt in a factory. We can see that he is totally different from others, he does not look like them at all. That's why we can think that the clip takes it because it is not as it should be, that it is out of the ordinary and it is what does not like, apparently, with the 'factory. It represents a manufacturing defect. This man will then be thrown into a dumpster which is in the foreground where there are written "Rejects" containing other clones which, too, represent a defect and which does not look like clones that factory wants to produce. So we can say that the plant chosen, sorting out between normal people and those who are out of the ordinary, who does not fit in the frame.

3) The representation of the cartoonist's is clear, he decided to make a humorous drawing on today's society to show the vision that this society presents to us. It teaches us how to behave, that we must all be equal, not to go out of the normality by distinguishing ourselves by a physical aspect, but also by a trait of character. She wants us to return to the mores. The designer then criticizes through humor, showing us on a large scale the selection of the species, how society manipulates us by putting pressure on us because by being oneself we risk being rejected by everyone and so feel too different from others. This could then make us realize that we should start by looking like others so as not to suffer from the rejection of society. She wants people to be perfect. Nowadays, this is probably possible thanks to DNA samples and thus by manipulating genetics by modifying our physical traits. By analyzing the title "Clones r us" we can believe that it is actually a word game that refers to the toy store "Toys r us".

4) In my mind, this cartoon, even if it was drawn on humor, represents totally what society wants: a world where everyone must return to normalcy if they do not want to be rejected by others . It happens in fact, to manipulate and dissuade anyone who wants to stand out or even be oneself. However, looking at the dumpster, we note that there is not one who is different but at least a dozen people which is very representative of people who have tried to be themselves . Society punishes them by throwing them out to make others understand that if they try to be original, to get out of the normality no one will want them then.For me, this document demonstrates the mores of the society and how wants we are equal to all without distinction.
This image can then lead us to think that it is part of the notion "Idea of progress" and therefore to talk about this theme.
 

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

Il y a 3 heures, Lyysa a dit :

Bonjour, je dois décrire une image en anglais pour lundi, est-ce que vous pouvez m'aider en me corrigeant s'il vous plaît parce que je ne sais si j'ai des erreurs. Merci

 

1) This document is a cartoon drawn by a person who can be believed to be anonymous because there is no registered name. It is also not officially titled but we can give it the name that there is written on it "Clones r us" which is the name of the factory. We can thus deduce that this drawing represents a factory of clones and its dysfunctions.
How does society want us to be in order not to be rejected?

2) On this drawing we can see <En règle générale, mieux vaut ne pas séparer le C.O.D. de son verbe, d'où le remaniement> a small white, man blond, very skinny man <Le nom toujours derrière les adjectifs wearing pink briefs which <L'antécédent est "man", sois donc attentive > who is placed in the middle of the image, between four muscular clones on a conveyor belt in a factory. We can see that he is totally different from others, he does not look like them at all. That's why we can think that the clip takes it because it is not as it should be, that it is out of the ordinary and it is what does not like, <Je ne comprends pas ce que tu as voulu dire là apparently, with the 'factory. It represents a manufacturing defect. This man will then be thrown into a dumpster which is in the foreground where there are written "Rejects" is written containing other clones which, too, represent also have a defect and which does <Le sujet "clones" est pluriel ! not look like clones those that the factory wants to manufacture/produce. So we can say that the plant chosen, sorting out between normal people and those who are out of the ordinary who does not fit in the frame.<Le relatif est parasite là, donc inutile.

3) The representation of the cartoonist's <Que vient faire la marque du cas possessif là ? is clear, he decided to make a humorous drawing on today's society to show the vision that this society presents to us. It teaches us how to behave, that we must all be equal, not to go out of the normality by distinguishing ourselves by a physical aspect, but also by a trait of character. She wants us to return to the mores. The designer then criticizes through humor, showing us on a large scale the selection of the species, how society manipulates us by putting pressure on us because by being oneself  <Faute d'accord avec "us"> ourselves we risk being rejected by everyone and so feel too different from others. This could then make us realize that we should start by looking like others so as not to suffer from the rejection of society. She wants people to be perfect. Nowadays, this is probably possible thanks to DNA samples and thus by manipulating genetics by modifying our physical traits. By analyzing the title "Clones r us" we can believe that it is actually a word game that refers to the toy store "Toys r us".

4) In my mind, this cartoon, even if it was drawn on humor, totally represents what society wants: a world where everyone must return to normality if they do not want to be rejected by others. It happens in fact, to manipulate and dissuade anyone who wants to stand out or even be oneself. However, looking at the dumpster, we notice that there is not one who is different but at least a dozen people, which is very representative of people who have tried to be themselves. Society punishes them by throwing them out to make others understand that if they try to be original, to get out of the normality no one will want them then. For me Personally/In my opinion, this document demonstrates the mores of the society and how wants we are equal to all without distinction.<Du diable si ça signifie quelque chose ! Et pourtant Dieu sait si j'y mets de la bonne volonté.
This image can then lead us to think that it is part of the notion "Idea of progress" and therefore to talk about this theme.

SIMPLIFIE ton expression, tu y gagneras en clarté à coup sûr. Tes phrases à rallonge, dans le style de celles que pondait Marcel Proust, sont souvent limite incompréhensibles pour ne pas dire indigestes, en tous cas pas très en phase avec l'anglais.

C'est d'autant plus regrettable que ton analyse est fouillée.

Revois les règles d'emploi/omission du déterminant "the", ce ne sera pas superflu.

Bonne continuation.

 

[Lyysa]

Merci beaucoup de m'avoir accordé du temps. J'ai la mauvaise habitude de faire des phrases trop longues et incompréhensibles et j'essaye de l'arranger. Encore merci.