Correction / Idée de progrès

[chichima]

 

Bonjour tout le monde, quelqu'un pourrait me corriger ce texte s'il vous plait  en anglais portant sur la notion "d'idée de progrès" ?

Merci d'avance pour votre aide  

 

The idea of progress is a theory that aims to improve the lives of living beings and the environment through the development and scientific discovery, technological and social. We will interested to medical progress in particular on eugenics. We can ask ourselves: Can we really Consider genetic manipulation as a progress?

Eugenics, which began in the 1880s as a concept of selective breeding by Sir Francis Galton, grew to emcompass other disciplines and offer genetic screening and manipulation that included trait selection, gender choice and disease resistance. Opponents suggest that the science of eugenics does more than help parents protect their unborn children ; instead, they say that it has harmful effects on people’s perceptions and fuels racial disparity.

 

In class, we have studied two texts on this theme:

TEXTE A :

 

PGD is used by parents who not only want to make sure their child will not suffer from a severe disease, but also to ask for choose/select certain physical characteristics. Indeed, apart from the medical objectifs which are advocated, PGD also serves cosmetic purposes which are not always in accordance with moral principles. This technique represents a scientific breakthrough, which is revolutioary in so far as it can help eradicate certain diseases. Nevertheless, it can also be seen as hazardous and scandalous since it raises the issue of people being used as scientific objects and goes against diversity. It may lead/open the door to the creation of an ideal being, thus undoubtedly forming rejected, weak beings who fail to conform with what is expected of them. The title « Design your baby » has a relevant significance here for it shows how this technique sets a precedent in science. You can now choose your baby’s physical characteristics, shape his body as if you were playing godwith human beings.

 

TEXT B :

 

Molly is a teenager who was born with a rare illness from which she was destined to die before the age of 7. She was cured in 2000 thanks to a bone marrow transplant from her brother Adam. People must have been quite appalled at Adam's birth since he was a medicine baby whose purpose was to save his sister. His story was in all the newspapers. Molly's story is significant because she was the first child to be cured thanks to PGD. It showed that such an innovative scientific breakthrough can improve life expectancy and have outstanding results when it comes to healing severe diseases.

 

 

 

 

Although the main objective scientific is to cure genetic diseases and to conceive a baby in perfect physical for parents, it is not accessible for modest people. Indeed, only the rich people can have access.
In addition, there may be psychological effects on the child created by PGD. In fact, it can be difficult for a child to know that it was designed to save his brother or his sister sick and therefore if the child was not sick, this child conceived would be ever born.
Also, eugenics can cause social problems. As a matter of fact, the movie "Gattaca" illustrates this phenomenon because in this film scientific and technological advances allow parents to choose the physical aspect and mental their future children: babies are so selected and it could create a "race" superior to other men. So this is a world without emotions and without values.

Both articles illustrate the notion of progress in so far as they present us with a scientific breakthrough : indeed, PGD is an unparalleled technique, which can cure severe illnesses and prolong the life of weaker beings. It is also considered progress since it enables parents to choose the physical characteristics of their future baby and to produce babies who are expected to conform to their parents wishes. However, even if designer babies are a scientific achievement, they also jeopardize diversity and open the door to the idea that some people who could be under-achieving are to be rejected and seen as outcasts. So it is necessary to think it over and be aware of the risks so that governments and scientists can draw a clear line between what is ethically accetable or not.

 

[Jean B]

 

Bonjour,

Il y a 11 heures, chichima a dit :

 

Bonjour tout le monde, quelqu'un pourrait me corriger ce texte s'il vous plait  en anglais portant sur la notion "d'idée de progrès" ?

Merci d'avance pour votre aide  

 

The idea of progress is a theory that aims to improve the lives of living beings and the environment through the development and scientific discovery, technological and social development. <Les adjectifs DEVANT le nom  ! We will interested to are going to take an interest in medical progress in particular in eugenics. We can ask ourselves: Can we really consider genetic manipulation as to be a progress?

Eugenics, which began in the 1880s as a concept of selective breeding by Sir Francis Galton, grew to emcompass other disciplines and offer genetic screening and manipulation that included trait selection, gender choice and disease resistance. Opponents suggest that the science of eugenics does more than help parents protect their unborn children ; instead, they say that it has harmful effects on people’s perceptions and fuels racial disparity.

In class, we have studied two texts on this theme:

TEXTE A :

PGD is used by parents who not only want to make sure their child will not suffer from a severe disease, but also to ask for to choose/select certain physical characteristics.<JAMAIS for devant une base verbale Indeed, apart from the medical objectives which are advocated, PGD also serves cosmetic purposes which are not always in accordance with moral principles. This technique represents a scientific breakthrough which is revolutioary in so far as it can help eradicate certain diseases. Nevertheless, it can also be seen as hazardous and scandalous since it raises the issue of people being used as scientific objects and goes against diversity. It may lead/open the door to the creation of an ideal being, thus undoubtedly forming rejected, weak beings who fail to conform with what is expected of them. The title « Design your baby » has a relevant significance here for it shows how this technique sets a precedent in science. You can now choose your baby’s physical characteristics, shape his body as if you were playing god with human beings.

TEXT B :

Molly is a teenager who was born with a rare illness from which she was destined to die before the age of 7. She was cured in 2000 thanks to a bone marrow transplant from her brother Adam. People must have been quite appalled at Adam's birth since he was a medicine baby whose purpose was to save his sister. His story was in all the newspapers. Molly's story is significant because she was the first child to be cured thanks to PGD. It showed that such an innovative scientific breakthrough can improve life expectancy and have outstanding results when it comes to healing severe diseases.

 

Although the main scientific objective scientific  is to cure genetic diseases and to conceive a baby in perfect physique for parents, it is not accessible for to modest people. Indeed, only the rich people can have such access.
In addition, there may be psychological effects on the child created by PGD. In fact, it can be difficult for a child to know that it he was designed to save his sick brother or sister sick  and therefore if the latter child was had not been sick, this the former child would have never been conceived and born.<Outre la place des adjectifs encore, tu as un sérieux problème avec la concordance des temps.
Also, eugenics can cause social problems. As a matter of fact, the movie "Gattaca" illustrates this phenomenon because in this film scientific and technological advances allow parents to choose the physical aspect  and mental aspects of their future children: babies are so selected and it could create a  "race" which would be superior to other men. So this is a world without emotions and without values.

Both articles illustrate the notion of progress in so far as they present us with a scientific breakthrough : indeed, PGD is an unparalleled technique which can cure severe illnesses and prolong the life of weaker beings. It is also considered to be progress since it enables parents to choose the physical characteristics of their future baby and to produce babies who are expected to conform to their parents' wishes. However, even if designer babies are a scientific achievement, they also jeopardize diversity and open the door to the idea that some people who could be under-achieving are to be rejected and seen as outcasts. So it is necessary to think it over and be aware of the risks so that governments and scientists can draw a clear line between what is ethically acceptable or not.

Ces quelques erreurs de placement des adjectifs sont d'autant plus regrettables que ton anglais est riche et ton analyse toujours pertinente, ce qui rend plaisante la lecture. Relis-toi donc toujours attentivement, sachant que le jour J à l'heure H personne ne le fera à ta place. Bonne chance pour ton oral.

[chichima]

Bonjour JRB, merci beaucoup pour votre correction