Oral Correction

[battou]

Bonjour,

Voila cette année l'epreuve d'anglais oral porte sur des études de textes et de document iconographique par rapport à un texte. Voila ce que j'ai fais sur Seats and forms of power. Je voudrais l'avis de quelqu'un et une correction des fautes si possible. Merci d'avance.

Les documents sont : une photo du film Amistad + texte slavery (l'auteur et les références ne sont pas indiqué)

Un texte sur Harriet Tubman

I have a dream de Martin Luther Kin

Un extrait de A Dry White Season, de André Brink

Seats and forms of power

Introduction

What's the power?

The state uper its citizens?

The commander on his soldiers?

The power of the owner on the owned?

The best exemple of true power is the master on his slaves.

I'm going to use documents 1, 2, 3 and 10 who deal with slavery, racism and abolitionism.

Documents 1 and 2 are about black people slavery in the 19^{th century}. This slavery begins on 16^th with the importation of black people for working in American plantation. We can see in document 1 a picture of Armistad movie which shows an African tied, on the road to America to be sell like slave.

The text "slavery" explain the condition of black slaves. Colonial laws exclude them. Inter-racial marriage, education for blacks, african religious practices and languages were forbidden.

Slaves didnt belong anything not even their body which was owner's property, they had no power at all. Masters held all the power on them.

The first paragraph in the second document is about Harriet Tubman, a runaway slave who organized a safe road to conduct escaped slave from South to the North. She was a form of counter power against slavery.

The second paragraph is about slavery controvers between industrial north and agricultural south. These two white powers fight, one for abolution, the other for keeping slavery on.

The third paragraph is about Uncle Tom's cabin, a novel writen by Harriet Beecher Stowe where she denouced the cruelty of slavery. Her book encounted a huge succes and contributed to the indignation against slavery in Northern States.

Books have a real power. We can imagine at this age that in Northern states peoples didn't know very well the condition of southern slavery. And, with the power of information Harriet Beecger Stowe rallied people to his cause.

100 years later, after the civil war, the abolution of slavery has become a reality but violent racism against black people is still present in the Southern states. We are at Washington with Martin Luther King who makes a pray for liberty and peace between black and white as, he says, "we are all God's children" . Beyond the appearances, Martin Luther King represents the first Black recognized by white authority. He was the voice of Black people in the United State, killed for he was a peacefully power, but a peacefully power is still a power.

Document 10 ilustrate white power in South Africa during the apartheid. A man, Ben gave all this papers to a misterious friend and die two weeks later. Probably killed by secret police. Now we know the attendants: black took the power and Nelson Mandela became the president, but racial tensions are present yet.

To conclude, we can said counterpower and rebellion pay. Counterpower today, real power tomorow, like we saw it in South Africa with Nelson Mandala. 200 years ago, Black was hanged for the simple reason of their color skin. Now Barack Obama, a Black is the president of the United State, probably the more powerfull man of the world.

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

  Le 08/05/2013 à 13:39, battou a dit :

Seats and forms of power

Introduction

What's the power?

The state uper over its citizens?

The commander on over his soldiers?

The power of the owner on the owned?

The best exemple of true power is the master on over his slaves.

I'm going to use documents 1, 2, 3 and 10 who which deal with slavery, racism and abolitionism. <Tu as intérêt à réviser sérieusement l'emploi des prépositions et des pronoms relatifs.

Documents 1 and 2 are about black people slavery in the 19^{th century}. This slavery begins began on in/as early as/ the16^th century with the importation of black people for working to work in American plantations. We can see in document 1 a picture of Armistad movie which shows a tied African on the road way to America to be sell sold like a slave.

The text "slavery" explains the condition of black slaves. Colonial laws excluded them. Inter-racial marriages, education for African blacks, their religious practices and languages were forbidden.

Slaves didnt belong possess anything not even their body which was their owner's property. Nouvelle phrase, pense à respirer ! They had no power at all. Masters held all the power on over them.

The first paragraph in the second document is about Harriet Tubman, a runaway slave who organized a safe road to conduct lead escaped slaves from the South to the North. She was a form of counter power an opposing force against slavery.

The second paragraph is about the slavery controversy between the industrial North and the agricultural South. These two white powers fight, fought against each other, one the former for abolition, the other latter for keeping to keep slavery on. Il serait temps que tu mémorises que le récit d'évènements passés, terminés, datés se fait au preterit.

The third paragraph is about Uncle Tom's cabin, a novel written by Harriet Beecher Stowe where she denounced the cruelty of slavery. Her book encounted a huge succes and contributed to the indignation against slavery in Northern States.

Books have a real power. We can imagine at this age that in Northern states peoples didn't know very well the condition of southern slavery. And, with the power of information Harriet Beecger Stowe rallied people to his her cause.

100 years later, after the Civil War, the abolition of slavery has become a reality but violent racism against black people is still present in the Southern states. We are at Washington with Martin Luther King who makes a prayer for liberty and peace between black and white as, he says, "we are all God's children" . Beyond the appearances, Martin Luther King represents the first Black recognized by white authority. He was the voice of Black people in the United States, killed for he was a peaceful power, but a peaceful power is still a power.<L'adjectif, pas l'adverbe.

Document 10 illustrates white power in South Africa during the apartheid. A man, Ben gave all his papers to a mysterious friend and died two weeks later. Probably killed by the secret police. Now we know the attendant circumstances: black people took the came to power and Nelson Mandela became the was elected president, but racial tensions are present yet. <Attention, les noirs n'ont pas pris le pouvoir illégalement comme ton expression le laissait entendre.

To conclude, we can said say counterpower opposition and rebellion pay. Counterpower Opposition today, real power tomorow, like we saw it in South Africa with Nelson Mandala. 200 years ago, Blacks were hanged for the simple reason of their color skin. Now Barack Obama, a Black is the president of the United States, probably the more most powerful man of in the world.

[battou]

Merci pour cette correction. Je m'interroge sur le terme counterpower qui est dans le manuel du cned. Selon toi il vaut mieux que j'utilise opposing force?

[Jean B]

  Le 08/05/2013 à 17:19, battou a dit :

Merci pour cette correction. Je m'interroge sur le terme counterpower qui est dans le manuel du cned. Selon toi il vaut mieux que j'utilise opposing force?

[battou]

Merci pour ton aide JRB j'essayerais de faire moins d'erreurs de grammaire sur mon prochain post.