Besoin D'aide Pour Corriger Quelques Fautes Dans Mon Texte

[Lebe-dein-leben]

Bonsoir tout le monde, voici un petit texte que j'ai du rédiger à propos d'une vidéo vue en cours. J'aurai besoin d'aide pour m'aider à corriger les fautes d'écriture que j'ai du faire... Merci d'avance !!

This document is an video of a campaign which aims to end the children labor in some countries in the world, a situation that too people ignore.

At first sight, the visual impact of this video mainly relies on the comparison of these two young children, the places where they live and the symbolical images of their daily routine.

Indeed, we can see on the left-hand side, a young child in his daily routine. He is probably from a western country and lives in a handsome house with his family. Everyday, he sleeps in his own bed, he wakes up and can wash in a bathroom. He can eat at his hunger then he is playing, he is drawing or he is studying at school with other pupils. To put in a nutshell, their living and working conditions seem to be really good, rich and confortable.

Whereas those of the child in the right-hand side are truly bad, hard and harsh. He lives probably in a country like India or Asia, and must everyday get up early to go to a sweatshop where he is exploited. He spends his time at sticking soles together, then he return at his home really late. Moreover, the images of his daily are awful and striking, and the dominant colors are very dark.

The slogan "Some things cost more than you realise" which we see in the end mostly derives its strengh and efficiency from the slow and depressing music, which stresses the dramatic situation

Therefore, everybody is the target of this advert and I think this video makes react because it inspires pity. For my part, it gave me chills and I had a tear to the eye.

In my view, after watching this, the people will think more about the children labor.

In conclusion, this campaign uses this technique to warn the public of the consequences that their behaviors might have. By showing one child wearing the shoes that the other made, it wants to explain that, even if we don't realise it, we are all responsable for exploitation of children.

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

Bonsoir tout le monde, voici un petit texte que j'ai du rédiger à propos d'une vidéo vue en cours. J'aurai besoin d'aide pour m'aider à corriger les fautes d'écriture que j'ai du faire... Merci d'avance !!

This document is an a video of a campaign which aims to put an end to / end the children labor in some countries in the world, a situation that too many people ignore. - a devant un mot commençant par un son-consonne <---> an devant un mot commençant par un son-voyelle ou un h muet.

- omission de " the " devant un nom employé dans la généralité

- trop + nom = too much + indénombrable singulier <---> too many + dénombrable pluriel

At first sight, the visual impact of this video mainly relies on the comparison of these two young children, the places where they live and the symbolical images of their daily routine.

Indeed on the left-hand side, we can see a young child in his daily routine. <Mieux vaut en effet ne pas séparer le verbe de son C.O.D. He is probably from a western country and lives in a handsome house with his family. Everyday, he sleeps in his own bed, he wakes up and can wash in a bathroom. He can eat at his hunger his fill then he is playing plays, he is drawing draws or he is studying studies at school with other pupils. Le présent simple exprime ce qu'il fait d'habitude. Le présent progressif exprimerait ce qu'il est en train de faire au moment. Vois-tu la différence ? To put it in a nutshell, their living and working conditions seem to be really good, rich and confortable.

Whereas those of the child in the right-hand side are truly bad, hard and harsh. He probably lives in a country like India or Asia, and must get up early every day to go to a sweatshop where he is exploited. Révise ta géographie ! L'Inde mise à part, l'Asie comprend de nombreux autres pays, non ? He spends his time at sticking soles together, then he returnS at his home really late. Moreover, the images of his daily routine are awful and striking, and the dominant colors are very dark.

The slogan "Some things cost more than you realize" which we can read / see in the end mostly derives its strength and efficiency from the slow and depressing music which stresses the dramatic situation

Therefore, everybody is the target of this advert and I think this video makes us react because it inspires pity. For my part, it gave me chills the creeps / the shivers / it made me shudder and I had a tear it brought tears to the my eyes. J'ignore quel(s) dictionnaire(s) tu utilises mais, autant que possible, tu devrais t'efforcer de trouver plus d'expressions idiomatiques.

In my view, after watching this, the people will do more thinking about the children labor. Idem

In conclusion, this campaign uses this technique to warn the public of the consequences that their behaviors might have. By showing one child wearing the shoes that the other one made, it wants to explain that, even if we don't realize it, we are all responsible for exploitation of children's exploitation.

[Lebe-dein-leben]

Merci d'avoir pris le temps de me corriger, je me rend compte que j'ai fait des erreurs vraiment très bêtes, merci beaucoup pour l'aide!