Aide pour corriger un texte

[Lebe-dein-leben]

Bonjour à tous, voici un texte que j'ai rédigé sur le thème "a role model".

Pourriez-vous jeter un coup d'oeil et corriger les fautes afin de l'améliorer? Merci d'avance!

"The title of my talk is "My father, this hero".

First, we can say that most everyone has a role model. It's someone we look up to and who can have a major impact on our life. He could be an athlete, a friend, a teacher, or a book's hero. Indeed, as you all probably know, a role model is too hard to define, because it can be different for everyone.

For my part, my role model is my father. Indeed, he has many qualities that I admire. He is loving, caring, very hard-working, helpful and teaches me important life lessons. My father is always very patient with me even when I am hard to live and he encourages me to be a good person. I know that I can trust in him and he will be there if I need. For example, he's always there to support us, me and my brothers in our projects and in pursuing our dreams.

Moreover my father is someone highly educated and has so much knowledge! So he inspires me to discover and learn about the world.

Another point is he has always been very human and brave. Indeed, he grew up in a small house in the countryside in a large family. But life was hard and his mother suffered due to cancer. She died quickly and the following year it's his father who has a heart attack.

So, orphan at 8 years old, he began to work very early and took care of his six brothers and sisters. He has been very responsible, committed to his duties and responsibilities. And he has done his best, even in the midst of hardships. My father is someone who seeks always a solution or ways to keep his life better and meaningful. In other words, he is really the strongest person I know. Because despite all his trials, he never despaired. In a nutshell, I would like to have the same strength as him and have more confidence in the life and in me.

To conclude, my father has taken such a big role in my life. He has influenced my life by helping me motivate for all what I do. I know i want to grow up and be as his. Finally, my dad is really a wonderful parent and I'd like to say him that I love him with all my heart."

[Jean B]

Bonjour,

"The title of my talk is "My father, this hero".

First, we can say that almost everyone has a role model. It's someone we look up to and who can have a major impact on our life. He could be an athlete, a friend, a teacher, or a book's hero. Indeed, as you all probably know, a role model is too hard to define because it can be different for everyone.

For my part, my role model is my father. Indeed, he has many qualities that I admire. He is loving, caring, very hard-working, helpful and teaches me important life lessons. My father is always very patient with me even when I am hard to live and he encourages me to be a good person. I know that I can trust in him and he will be there if the need arises. For example, he's always there to support us, me and my brothers in our projects and in pursuing our dreams.

Moreover my father is someone highly educated and has so much knowledge! So he inspires me to discover and learn about the world.

Another point is he has always been very human and brave. Indeed, he grew up in a small house in the countryside in a large family. But life was hard and his mother suffered due to from cancer. She died quickly and the following year it's his father who has had a heart attack.

So, being orphaned at 8 years old, he began to work very early and took care of his six brothers and sisters. He has been very responsible, committed to his duties and responsibilities. And he has done his best, even in the midst of hardships. My father is someone who seeks always looks for a solution or ways to keep his life better and meaningful. In other words, he is really the strongest person I know. Because Despite all his trials, he never despaired. In a nutshell, I would like to have the same strength as him and have more confidence in the life and (in) me.

To conclude, my father has taken such a big role in my life. He has influenced my life by helping me motivate for all what that I do. I know i want to grow up and be as his behave the way he does. Finally, my dad is really a wonderful parent and I'd like to say tell him that I love him with all my heart."

[Lebe-dein-leben]

C'est gentil, merci beaucoup JRB pour cette aide!