Correction Dialogue

[zolex083]

Bonsoir !

Pour demain je dois écrire un dialogue basé sur un sujet précis. On nous a passé un polycop où il y avait dessus une BD ( Mark un jeune acteur se dirige dans le bureau d'un producteur, entend des bruits de balles, entre, et voit le producteur et une femme assomé).

Et je dois faire le dialogue entre l'inspecteur et Mark, le jeune acteur. Nous avons des pistes d'élements à faire que j'ai inclus dans mon dialogue (question de l'inspecteur : qui se trouvait dans le bureau ? quelques chose de suspect ? etc...)

J'ai donc posté sur un autre site d'entraide, mais personne ne m'a répondu ! (j'ai posté ce week end) donc je viens vous voir en urgence !

Mon dialogue est ci-dessous. Je vous remercie vraiment de m'aider.

- Hello, I am the Courtepaille inspector. I come to question you about the Cannonball case.

- Hello inspector. I have already given all my version of the facts to your colleague.

- It was only an officer, answered the inspector. Me, I am more qualified. Well, what did you do at this place Mark ?

- I had a rendez-vous with Mr. Cannonball. I am a young actor, and I had already collaborated with him. For some time I sought a role, then Steve called because it had a station for me.

- Then, whereas I knocked on the door of his office, I heard an odd voice which spoke, then a noise of drawn balls. That has surprised me, and I thus precipitated in the office.

- Do you Know what time was it?

- It was one hour crushes.

- Well, known as the Courtepaille inspector. It is thus all that you heard?

- Indeed.

- What did you see once penetrated in the office?

- Once entered, there was a lit projector which projected a film on a white screen. We could see a man killed by a woman.

- That is surprising, declared the inspector. Were people in the room?

- Yes. I turned the armchair on which disappeared Steve was, then I noticed an young woman who had been struck beside a pillar. What surprised me, it was the revolver which was beside it. There were also traces of step which went to open picture window.

- Very well. In which state was the woman about which you spoke?

- She had sat on the ground, back against the pillar. She rubbed the head, apparently, she was not to feel very well. I tried of him to speak, but she did not answer me.

- Did you know?

- At all. Then, I left it where it was, then I precipitated on the telephone which was on the desk of Steve to prevent the police.

- Yes, you do it well and we thank you. Still some Mark questions, did you touch anything?

- Not Mr. the inspector, except the telephone which I utilized to phone you.

- OK Mark. Do you have something to add? Did you notice a particular clue which you want to make me share?

- As I said it to you, I found strange the revolver and the traces of step, as well as the film which was projected and which coincided too much with the situation, but there is all.

- OK. Thank you still Mark, take my calling card, we will be see again.

[Louclé]

Bonsoir !

Pour demain je dois écrire un dialogue basé sur un sujet précis. On nous a passé un polycop où il y avait dessus une BD ( Mark un jeune acteur se dirige dans le bureau d'un producteur, entend des bruits de balles, entre, et voit le producteur et une femme assomé).

Et je dois faire le dialogue entre l'inspecteur et Mark, le jeune acteur. Nous avons des pistes d'élements à faire que j'ai inclus dans mon dialogue (question de l'inspecteur : qui se trouvait dans le bureau ? quelques chose de suspect ? etc...)

J'ai donc posté sur un autre site d'entraide, mais personne ne m'a répondu ! (j'ai posté ce week end) donc je viens vous voir en urgence !

Mon dialogue est ci-dessous. Je vous remercie vraiment de m'aider.

- Hello, I am the Courtepaille inspector. I come to question you about the investigation of the Cannonball case.

- Hello inspector. I have already given all my version of the facts to your colleague.

- It was only an officer, answered the inspector. Me, I am more qualified. Well, what did you do at this place Mark ? why did you come here ?

- I had a rendez-vous with Mr. Cannonball. I am a young actor, and I had already collaborated with him. For some time I sought a role, then Steve called because it had a station for me.

- Whereas I knocked on the door of his office, I heard an odd voice which spoke, then a noise of drawn balls. That has surprised me, and I thus precipitated in the office.

- Do you Know what time was it?

- It was one hour crushes.

- Well, known as the Courtepaille inspector. It is thus all that you heard?

- Indeed.

- What did you see when you penetrated in the office?

- Once entered, there was a lit projector which projected a film on a white screen. We could see a man killed by a woman.

- That is surprising, declared the inspector. Were people in the room?

- Yes. I turned the armchair on which disappeared Steve was, then I noticed an young woman who had been struck beside a pillar. What surprised me, it was the revolver which was beside it. There were also traces of step which went to open picture window.

- Very well. In which state was the woman about which you spoke?

- She had sat on the ground, back against the pillar. She rubbed the head, apparently, she was not to feel very well. I tried of him to speakI tried to speak to her si tu veux dire "j'ai essayer de lui parler", but she did not answer to me.

- Did you know? que voulais-tu dire ? si c'est la connaissez-vous => do you know her ? ou have you meet her before ?

- At all. Then, I left it where it was, immediately I precipitated on the telephone which was on the desk of Steve to prevent the police.

- Yes, you do it well and we thank you. Still some questions Mark , did you touch anything?

- Not Mr. the inspector, except the telephone which I utilized to phone you.

- OK Mark. Do you have something to add? Did you notice a particular clue which you want to make me share?

- As I said it to you, I found strange the revolver and the traces of step, as well as the film which was projected and which coincided too much with the situation, but that is all.

- OK. Thank you again Mark, take my calling card, we will be see again.