A Rendre Pour Demain! Svp

[zivalouna]

Bonjours, pourriez vous me corriger mon paragraphe SVP? (Si vous voulez apporter des modifications pour l'embellir libre à vous!!)

Le voici:

I would go to Sydney as a city that is ready to dream with its modernity, its diverse population, its department stores…

If I go to Sydney, first as I love fun I go to the beach swimming and sailing with my friends. Then we would go to eat in a restaurant overlooking the sea… Then I go with my family to visit the Royal Botanic Gardens, as well as museums and wildlife reserves. So I take part in a parade of dragons, and I go to the opera. I visit the famous places like the Sydney Harbour and Sydney Harbour Bridge. Sydney and also known to be a very modern city, I suppose that this city has therefore great stores and me I'd love shopping with my friends.

Finally, this trip will allow me to make new acquaintances alike.

Je vous remercie d'avance!

[yveslouis]

I would go to Sydney as a city that is ready to dream (Je ne comprends pas la poésie de ton texte...) with its modernity, its diverse population, its department stores…

If I go went to Sydney, first (maladroit) as/since I love fun I would go to the beach to swimming and sailing with my friends. Then we would go to eat in a restaurant overlooking the sea… Then I would go with my family to visit the Royal Botanic Gardens, as well as museums and wildlife reserves. So Also, I would take part in a parade of dragons, and I would go to the opera. I would visit the famous places like the Sydney Harbour and Sydney Harbour Bridge. Sydney and is also known to be a very modern city, I suppose that this city has therefore great stores and me ("moi, je" ne se traduit que par le seul sujet )I'd love shopping with my friends.

Finally, this trip will would also allow me to make new acquaintances alike.

@+